Somehow– I’m not really sure how– I have found myself on an electronic mailing list for the Kimble Group, which is a “recruitment search firm focused on the hiring needs of Fortune 500 companies as well as small businesses nationwide.” I must have clicked on something at some point, maybe at one of those moments where I think that I’ve “had enough” of academia or something, I’m not sure.
Anyway, here is a selection of the hundreds of different jobs these emails have suggested I apply for:
- Substitute Teacher/Paraprofessional
- Assistant Manager, Checkers Drive-In
- Team Leader-Optical Dispenser-OptimEyes
- Licensed Cosmetologist-Detroit Airport Spa
- Assistant principal, Secondary (Detroit Int’l Academy)
- Food and Beverage Supervisor, MGM Grand
- Detroit Red Wings – Red Patrol Member
- Executive Producer, McCann Detroit
- Disk Jockey
- Assistant Professor of Journalism – Public Relations
- Medical Assistant
- Assistant Professor of Cinema Studies – Filmmaking
- Detroit Tigers Foundation Intern
- Medical Assistant-Infectious Disease
- Assistant General Manager, Taco Bell
- Division Head, Hematology/Oncology – Henry Ford Health System
And so forth.
To be fair to the Kimble Group people, I think I was getting random job suggestions like this because I never updated my profile, though that was because I never quite understood how I started getting these emails in the first place. Once I did update it to stuff I could probably actually do (freelance writer and content strategy, for example), I did get an email for jobs I could kinda/sorta apply to.
Still, it’s amusing to me to think that what the Kimble Group was doing was sending me their best guesses as to what someone who has been a college professor for 21 years might be qualified to do, which is to say everything, anything, and nothing all at the same time.
On an odd note, Privacy Badger is running a tool tip over your social media buttons that says “Privacy Badger has replaced this Twitter button.” And yet PB has detected 0 tracking on this page.