Steven D. Krause

I stumbled across this article from Canada’s Globe and Mail this afternoon, “Atwood adds ‘inventor’ to CV.” After an exhausting book tour, Atwood had an idea:

The machine, created in consultation with computer experts under Atwood’s newly created company Unotchit Inc., is still in the development phase, but at the moment it will comprise two units. The first will consist of a screen, where the author can see and speak to the book reader in real-time, and a tablet on which the author will write the inscription. The second unit will be with the book reader, and will also include a screen to communicate with the author in real-time, and will have a flat book holder as well as an electronic arm and pen that will scrawl out the autograph.

The system will allow the inscription to be edited or spell-checked before being committed to paper and the quality of the signature should be identical to one done in person, Atwood says. The book reader will also be able to keep a record of the on-screen interaction with the author for posterity.

As far as I can tell, this is not a joke. And to me, it seems a pretty weird idea, especially since it comes from a writer who has a decidely dystopian view of technology in her fiction….

My millions of loyal readers will recall this entry from just over a month ago, which was about spending too much money on repairs for my garage sale snowblower, and then almost killing myself getting it out of the back of a pickup truck. I said then that it had damn well better snow. And last night, I got my wish: plenty of snow here, enough to close down all the schools, including EMU. So I got myself bundled up and went out to put this thing to the test.

The snowblower did pretty well, at first. I plowed our sidewalk and the neighbors with no problem. Then I started working on the driveway, down by the street where the city had already plowed. Now, it was a wet and slushy snow to begin with, and it was a lot heavier and more slushy down by the street. The snowblower kept jamming. I stopped to clear it a couple of times, or I tried rocking it a bit to get the jammed parts to spit out of the chute. I finished my side of the driveway and then I started on my neighbor’s. The engine strained, but it was still going strong.

And then it wasn’t.

It never stopped running entirely, but it started to run a great deal more slowly, just barely idling, and it started to produce quite a bit of smoke. I’m no small engine mechanic, but I don’t think this is good.

Damn you snowblower.

So, what happens next? Well, I called the place that fixed it before (to the tune of $95, which, combined with the money I spent for the thing at the yard sale in the first place, puts me almost halfway to a freakin’ brand-new snowblower at this point), and they said they’d come pick it up and take a look at it. In fact, while I was typing this message, Annette called me and said that they came and picked it up.

My hope is they’ll fix or adjust something at no cost and it will work again, at least for a while. But if they want to charge me more money, I think I’m going to try to get a refund on the original work (I wouldn’t have spent that kind of money had I known the rest of the thing was in danger of just blowing up) and/or tell them to keep the evil thing.

Damn you, snowblower….

Update:

Mr. Snowblower, he dead.

As I mentioned, I called up the folks who fixed my snowblower– Congdon’s Ace Hardware here in Ypsi– and they came by and picked it up for me. Well, a few hours ago, I got a call from them with the bad news. Essentially, the carburetor blew and its too old of a snowblower to find a replacement part. And besides, there are apparently other issues with the engine.

Now, while the folks at Congdon’s couldn’t fix the snowblower, they did come out here to pick it up, they fully refunded my money, and they agreed to dispose of it, too. In my book, that’s great customer service– I’ll be back there again.

Alas, oh snowblower, I hardly knew ye! Well, other than the near-death experience a month ago, it was fun for about 45 minutes. Maybe I can get a real snowblower one of these days….

My first class of the term, Writing for the World Wide Web, met last night, despite the weather and my resurfacing head cold. But today’s classes at EMU are indeed snowed out. Not surprisingly, the local public schools are closed too, so both my second grader son and I have a snow day.

To be honest, I have mixed feelings about EMU canceling classes. On the one hand, it does look pretty nasty out there, and we are a “commuter campus.” I’ve had lots of students over the years who drive an hour or more each way in normal conditions. Plus the people who work at EMU have to commute to campus, and plenty of folks who work at EMU drive quite a ways, too. And, to be selfish for a moment, the extra day will (hopefully) help me get caught up.

On the other hand, I think EMU is a tad quick in closing down. Despite the “commuter campus” reputation of EMU, I heard some statistic once that something like 70% of our students actually live within two or three miles of campus. In other words, they don’t drive very far. The University of Michigan’s attitude about closing is a lot more like my undergraduate institution, the University of Iowa: it never closes– well, almost never. I think Michigan closed once a couple years ago when it got down to -15 degrees (with a -40 or something windchill). Iowa closed once, I think when I was a Sophomore, and if I recall, it was the first time in 25 or 30 years that had happened.

Oh well, I’ll use the time to catch up and to really put my yard sale snow blower to the test.

Then just watch the Fox Network show Nanny 911. Annette and I were watching this show tonight. The basic plot of the show is a Nanny (appropriately British) comes in and “fixes” a completely and incredibly messed up family in about a week. It of course ends happily, at least in the span of 50 minutes of TV. God only knows what happens after the Nanny and film crew leaves.

I suppose you could say that the entertainment value of the show is that the Nanny solves all the problems. But if you ask me, the real hook of the show is seeing these completely and utterly screwed up families. Tonight’s episode featured was typical in that it featured parents allowing kids to do things that are so over the line they are laughable. It’s as if these children are being raised by drunken wolves.

How can that not make you feel better about yourself and your parenting skills?

I got back in Ypsilanti yesterday at about 11:00 am, school starts today, and no, I’m not really ready. Deep sigh.

Though I should be careful because I might get what I wish for. I teach a night class tonight, and there’s a winter storm warning/watch on right now. Stuff is already starting to get canceled. I have mixed feelings, but I guess my preference would be for snow right now….

We’re packing up for the trip back to Ypsi tomorrow morning. So here are a few thoughts and pictures:

* On New Year’s day, Will and I drove around Naples a bit while Annette and her mom went gambling on one of these boats that takes you out to international waters. Will and I stopped briefly on Vanderbilt beach; we saw cool and giant sand castles right by the Ritz-Carleton, apparently built by that hotel’s professional sand castle builder. Annette lost money on gambling boat, but she said it was like a mini cruise, so it was okay.

* Sometime toward the end of New Year’s day, I developed a nasty cold. I think I’m feeling better now, but it’s a good thing I’ll be to bed early again tonight.

* We went to an art show the day after New Year’s day in downtown Naples. Pretty good stuff, about the size of the Plymouth art fair with some of the same artists. I almost bought a cool photograph of a hand-painted sign advertising Internet service in a little town in Mexico. Here’s Annette and Will in front of art:

Will also enjoyed climbing on this elaborate playground set-up in Naples:

* Today we went on a proper visit to the beach: suntan lotion, beach chairs, laying there, etc. Here’s Will enjoying the sun:

* After the beach, we came back and swam in the pool (the ocean is about 65 degrees this time of year). Actually, Annette and Will and the grandparents were in the pool quite a bit during our visit; I even went in and waded around a couple of times.

* Despite what some might want to admit, Doritos do go very well with margaritas.

* I doubt I’ll visit my parents or the in-laws without the wireless router ever again. I’m not completely ready to start school in two days, but it definitely saved my ass Internet-wise.

Update (about 5 hours before I need to be getting ready for the flight back home):
Never mind that last bit about the wireless router.

To make the long story short, my in-laws’ internet connection worked fine before the router, it worked fine during the router, but it stopped working after I disconnected the router and I tried to reconnect their computer to the cable modem. I was on the phone for a long time with techno-geeks around the country and with the dimwits at Comcast, and the general answer I received was “wow, that shouldn’t happen.” Thanks, thanks a lot.

I think that ultimately the problem is with Windows XP, and probably the infamous “Service Pack 2.” I think I could get the in-laws’ connection up and running again if I reinstalled the network card drivers and/or Windows XP, but a) I don’t think my in-laws would allow that at this point (and who can blame them? after all, the last time I messed with their computer, this happened!), and b) reinstalling a bunch of key software seems like a pretty lame way to solve a problem.

Anyway, let me publicly and profusely apologize to Bill and Irmgard: I had no idea that this would happen, everyone told me it wouldn’t be a problem, but still my bad.

Now, the good news (sort of) is that I was able to reconnect the router and everything works fine. And if there is more silver lining to this: it probably isn’t a bad idea security-wise for them to have a hardware device that has a firewall built into it (we’ve never had a spyware or other problem on Will’s PC, and I think this is one of the reasons why), and since we will be coming here again with our laptops (Annette just got one), we will use this again. It’s a pisser that I’m going to have to buy another router when we get home and I might face the same problems hooking up our PC, but considering the relatively low price of wireless routers nowadays and the usefulness of good internet connectivity while we’ve been in Florida, I think it’s a kind of “break even” deal….

Check out http://www.public.iastate.edu/~CYBERSTACKS/WikiBib.htm , the WikiBibliography (at least one of them, I suppose). Most of the items appear to be PDFs. Via the Humanist Discussion mailing list.

I stumbled across this page about the challenges and triumphs left-handed people have in writing. They mean this literally, with fountain pens and the like. It’s actually a page about nibs and pens and such. This page claims:

While just over ten percent of Americans are left handed, they represent a disproportionate number of fountain pen users (at least from the perspective of The Nib Works.) This may at first glance seem strange, given the difficulty that they have using fountain pens. But, on further thought, this may not be so strange. Faced with a difficult situation, left-handers seem to push ahead and embrace the challenges that are thrown their way.

As a left-handed writer, I don’t know what these people are talking about. I learned how to type in the seventh or eighth grade and I never ever had a desire to make pretty handwriting with a fountain pen ever again.

Despite being “on break” and visiting the in-laws in southern Florida, I can see next semester rushing toward me quickly. It’s going to be a bumpy start. I have two completely new preps and one kinda new prep, we return to Michigan on January 4, school starts on January 5, and I am just barely able to show up to my first class. Let’s not even talk about the rest of the first week.

Anyway, as I posted on my unofficial blog, my “unofficial” or “life” resolutions have to do with getting back on track with the diet and losing weight. Pretty traditional stuff.

As for my “official” or “professional” resolutions go, I have three, all of which are related:

1. Read more blogs, both in terms of numbers and variety.
2. Write less on this blog, because I’ll be busy reading the work of others and because…
3. Get back to the textbook(s) manuscript(s) because these projects are “on again.”

For me, blogging is simultaneously a good way to start writing and a good way to procrastinate from writing, and I think I need to work harder at emphasizing the positive.

I found this on Fark via my friend Chris W.:

A photoshop contest for a “make more coffee” poster.